Ugh, this post Christmas bloat is getting to me.
Every year I have the VERY BEST intentions of making the festive season into a super festive health experience…. the truth? It never happens.
I overeat, I always do. I LOVE food, I LOVE eating, I LOVE tasting and testing, I LOVE the social aspect of it. I HATE wasting… so what do I do? I completely override those natural satiety signals of “I’m full” and keep eating and eating until I simply cannot eat anymore.
Can you relate?
So I’m lying on my bed thinking about the day ahead and dreading the thought of having to open my cupboard door and attempt to squash into a pair of jeans. I’ve made the decision that loose, flowy clothing it will have to be.
It’s at times like this for my negative self-talk (that little voice in my head) is highly exagerated and so incredibly self-righteous. I am bombarded with a constant barrage of:
“you’re just not good enough”
As an addict I’ve lived most of my life with this self-fulfilling prophecy and made sure I lived up to these expectations. I aim to please…
I remember being in rehab in 2004, every morning we had a ‘Feelings’ group where we had to identify our feelings and share about them. More often than not I’d say:
“I’m feeling fat” and my counsellor would come right back and say: “Karen, fat is NOT a feeling. What is really going on?”
Hmmmmmm, not quite what I wanted to hear and not what I want to be reminded of when I am wallowing in my own feelings of fat-ness.
So what is going on?
The short answer would be SO MUCH. Yes so so so very much. 2015 was a magnficent year for me which pushed me way beyond the limits of my comfort zone. I expanded in so many ways, I am so grateful BUT I am also utterly petrified. Yes I am really scared at times. Scared of the amazing things happening in my life. The rate at which magnificent opportunities are presenting themselves and scared of having to own my power (we all have this power so don’t think I’m being arrogant please).
What is underlying my fat-ness is FEAR. Fear my old friend, a constant visitor in my life. When fear takes hold I freeze, and then I eat. I eat to try and push those scary feelings away.
And yes it happened these holidays when I finally allowed myself some downtime, some time to reflect and regroup and suddenly fear came rushing through the door with such force I was bowled over by the magnitude of it.
So fear my old friend, I say welcome, thanks for the visit but it’s time for you to leave now. I appreciate your lesson and the time we spent together but I’ve decided to focus my sights on 2016 and making that magical.
As with most projects I undertake once I set my sight on the goal I will work tirelessly to achieve it.
I’ve devised a strategy and I hope you decide to join me on this.
30 Dec 2015: Create a vision for the year ahead. Take stock of 2015’s successes, failures and lessons. Let go and make a concious decision to step into your POWER. Choose to do things differently. As one of my favourite spiritual advisor’s says: “To Have a Great New Year, BE Great in the New Year”.
1 Jan 2016: Recommit to your healthy lifestyle. Be gentle, go easy. Incorporate and nurture all aspects that make us human: emotional, spiritual, psychological, physical. Nurture them all equally. So often we want to be thin because we think then we will be happy, loved, accepted, understood, acknowledged. Don’t wait for a number on a scale to dictate your emotions. Choose to be happy NOW.
Need to incorporate exercise into your life? Download my 6-week Exercise guide here.
Recommit to working the 12 step program focussing on my Sugar and Carb addiction. If you’d like to join this group (it’s free) then please sign up here:
I’d like to join the Sugar & Carb Addicts Anonymous group:
TOGETHER WE CAN DO WHAT WE CANNOT DO ALONE.